


Restrictions

by orphan_account



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Flower Crowns, Hurt No Comfort, Insults, M/M, Metaphors, Similes, Tumblr Prompt, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-04 01:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5314106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The plates of Kyoya’s eyes seemed to move more frequently and brighter, the different shades of grey blending together with the dark shades of blue. They seemed to stand out like warm amber lampposts on a dark street. Like that one spot of green in a vast ocean of blue. It was different to the usual blend of dark hair and dark eyes Kaoru was used to. It was foreign and bright, but Kaoru decided immediately that he didn’t mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Restrictions

**Author's Note:**

> for tumblr user @scarletiscool

The flowers seemingly danced across Kyoya’s fingers, the dark turquoise soft against the natural paleness of his skin. The colours pushing your focus away from the grubby bitten nails to the beautiful contrast of blue and black. The dark blunt black of his hair ignited by the white stars in the centre of the blue pansies. The contrast strong and beautiful.

The plates of Kyoya’s eyes seemed to move more frequently and brighter, the different shades of grey blending together with the dark shades of blue. They seemed to stand out like warm amber lampposts on a dark street. Like that one spot of green in a vast ocean of blue. It was different to the usual blend of dark hair and dark eyes Kaoru was used to. It was foreign and bright, but Kaoru decided immediately that he didn’t mind.

“Do you like it?” Kaoru asks with a cheery voice, his palms pushing into the middle of his thighs in effort to hide the sweaty sticky hands. They ignited from the simple brush of Kyoya’s fingers against his own. It made him angry, how one simple thing made his body burn. It made him angry, how much power Kyoya had over him without even knowing it.

“I admire the effort,” Kyoya replied with a huff, his fingers crunching the flowers into his palm before pulling the flower crown off his head and placing it into both of his hands. He inspected it professionally, twisting the careful handiwork upside down to look at the twisting of vines.

Kaoru’s shoulders tense as his heart stops and waits for Kyoya’s analysis. His palms push harder against his skin as nervousness tackles him, the pressure on his thighs making it feel just that little bit better and easier to handle.

“But it doesn’t really suit me, does it?” Kyoya concluded, moving his eyes from the princely crown to Kaoru’s face. His eyes were strangely soft and warm, and Kaoru can’t fight the urge to kiss him much longer.

“I think it does,” Kaoru commented his voice forcefully solid and leaving no wonder for romantic suggestions. Kaoru doesn’t have the willpower or the pride to announce his feelings without an indication of reciprocation on Kyoya’s part.

A chuckle escaped Kyoya’s mouth, the noise soft and almost flowing with the wind. It was melodic and different to every other sound Kaoru had heard from Kyoya’s mouth. It made him smile like an idiot.

“I think you’re one of the only people, Kaoru,” Kyoya tells him, placing the crown in his lap and pressing his palms into the back of his head. The sun almost glowed behind him, the shadows ghosting over one side of his face. The golden glow of the sun sparkling on his skin, Kyoya’s lips dark and plump.

Kaoru fought the urge to reply with a ‘You sure?’ before sighing lightly and closing his eyes for a moment. There were things he could take. He could take the smirks and the harsh tones of Kyoya’s voice. He could handle the casual conversations about their predictions and guesses about the other hosts. He could just about handle the accidental touches and firm hands on his shoulders once in a while.

But what he couldn’t handle was this. This exactly. It was cruel for anyone to think he could. It made his dignity burn into ashes. Kaoru had always prided himself about his self-restraint, but this was too much.

It was too much for him to have something in front of you, so close you could touch it and take it for your own. For something to be so desirable and unreachable, even though they were a mere thirty centimetres away. It hurt like hell to have your body fight with your mind so aggressively.

“I’d like to think that my designs can make anyone beautiful, even you Kyoya-senpai,” Kaoru said with a cheeky tone, his mouth slightly pinched to the side in an intrusive way.

‘I’d probably ruin you with my designs, you’re already beautiful enough,’ Kaoru’s mind funded, his mind working together with the thumping of his heart and the anticipation tingling up and down his spine.

“Watch it,” Kyoya warned, his mouth curled into a snarl that Kaoru had come to love in a strange way. His lips curled and plumped to the left side of his face when he snarled, tiny small dimples in one of Kyoya’s cheeks. The appearance of Kyoya’s lips bigger, pinker and wetter, his teeth peering at one corner of his lips. Somehow Kaoru found it endearing.

“I’m only joking senpai!” Kaoru said all too quickly, his voice scared and weary, despite the fact that he wasn’t scared at all. Not one bit. Kyoya was all talk and no bite in Kaoru’s personal experience.

Kyoya huffed in reply before leaning his back against the newly-cut grass. His legs still stuck in a crossed position, making Kaoru wonder whether that was a completely comfortable position.

Kaoru followed, scooting over beside Kyoya and lying beside him. The touch of the shoulders making Kaoru smile like a dork and his fingers fiddle with the grass. His thoughts tried to focus on the feeling of the grass against his fingers, the want to be rational (and not a love-sick school girl) strong in the back of his mind.

“Why did you decide to invite me here?” Kaoru asked with a serious tone, the drop of the ‘senpai’ helping with the important atmosphere he was going for. He needed to know, it was crumbling his thoughts one by one, the grass wasn’t nearly as interesting as the prospect of love.

“I enjoy your company.” Kyoya admitted making Kaoru’s stomach swirl with a feeling that was both pleasant and uncomfortable. It was already amazing for Kaoru to think that Kyoya didn’t mind his company, let alone actually enjoy it. It made him giddy.

“You’re one of the only people in the club that have actual brains,” Kyoya added with a deep sigh, making Kaoru chuckle lightly with a hand loosely clasped against his mouth. Get rekt Haruhi.

“Why thank you,” Kaoru replied with a bright angelic smile. His mind buzzed from the random compliments aimed at him from a person he valued highly. Too highly if Kaoru’s sanity had any say in it. Though usually his stupid and oddly suffocating romantic thoughts took charge when it came to Kyoya.

“Why did you decide to come here then, Kaoru?” Kyoya asks in attempt to mock Kaoru’s question, a small smile plaguing his lips.

Kaoru smiles at the slight mocking tone of Kyoya’s voice, his mind filling him up with stupid thoughts and guesses to why the hell Kyoya had any interest in him (romantic or not). The cheeky silky tone of Kyoya’s voice ringing through Kaoru’s ears on repeat, the sound like a song. His voice in general making his mind twist, tumble and jumble into thoughts that would definitely not be his own if he hadn’t have met Kyoya. The image of Kyoya just a few moments ago hitting his sanity like a hammer, his need to keep his feelings hidden quickly disintegrating. The picture of Kyoya in the blue crown Kaoru had made only for him. The picture of the sun glowing on Kyoya’s skin as if he was a God. The simple thought of Kyoya making his heart burst into tiny pieces of sweet honeycomb, trying to dissolve into the world.

“Because I love you,” Kaoru burst out, his voice sickeningly sweet and his mouth curled into a grin that was akin to gold. His whole form seemingly glowing from the love he felt. The radiance of his cheeks bright with pink.

His mind sizzled with both relief and anticipation, the liberating feeling making his mind dizzy and the thought of rejection making his stomach sink to levels he didn’t think were possible. It was as if he’d come out the closet again, the chains and shackles unlocked making him feel completely free, while the possibility of a hand slapped across his face made him feel bound once again. One thing Kaoru hated was waiting.

“I don’t feel-“ Kyoya started, not missing a beat. He probably expected it, probably even planned how he would let Kaoru down easily or softly. But Kaoru wasn’t having any of that shit.

“It was worth a try I suppose, telling you I mean,” Kaoru interrupted, his voice turning cruel and cold, ignoring the nibbling shrew tearing away at his heart slowly. It felt heavy, the shrew using his heart as a home as well as a feast. His eyes felt the same, threatening to close until Kyoya decided to leave. His limbs felt like metal against his skin, forgein and belonging to someone other than himself. His head the weight of a bowling ball, trying to roll off his shoulders and press further into the grass.

“Kaoru-“ Kyoya attempted, only to be cut off once again by Kaoru, who was slowly turning into ice.

“Don’t do the friend thing,” Kaoru ordered, his heart physically aching by the pain of sitting by him. Kaoru felt ashamed and above everything else stupid. How could he, of all people, believe that Kyoya, of all people, even remotely liked him?

Kaoru felt his pride hit the bottom of the ocean, the rejection swallowing it up as well as the dead feeling of all of his limbs. It was physically draining him to be with Kyoya at this moment. He felt like an ugly lifeless doll, used only in dire need. Never the first choice, always the doll that parents stored at the back of the wardrobe so nobody could see it. He felt like an embarrassment to everyone.

Kaoru chuckled at the irony of the whole situation, his voice hoarse and broken. Like that ugly doll, just without sufficient batteries. Nobody gives an ugly doll batteries anyway, so maybe he should be lucky that he’s even got batteries.

His breath hitched as his mind yelled at him to get out of there, his body unwilling to move, seemingly unable to move. Even now, his mind and body refused to cooperate.

“Tamaki may have you, but at least I have a mother,” Kaoru snarled in effort to rile up Kyoya, his pride needing to recover a little before anything in his body could work. He couldn’t take it if Kyoya only hung out with him because of a stupid reason like unrequited love. He couldn’t take the desperation it implied.

He couldn’t take the possibilities anymore. He couldn’t take the closeness they would have with friends. He couldn’t take the restrictions and awkwardness it would bring. He couldn’t take the accidental touches. He couldn’t take the smiles. He couldn’t take the platonic looks. He couldn’t take the compliments. He couldn’t take it anymore. He wouldn’t take it anymore.

“Leave,” Kyoya snarled. Kaoru was only happy when his body decided to leave.

**Author's Note:**

> excuse kaoru's rudeness  
> he's a hurt lil' baby


End file.
